No emotion is more responsible for the survival of the human race than fear. Death was a constant threat to our ancestors, and survival was at the top of the priority list. Fear propelled them to create tools to protect themselves from threats of predatory animals and hostile members of their species. Fear forced them how to socialize to avoid ostracization and social exclusion which, in those times, could mean death. Fear, to some point, helped us to be adaptable.
While modern society does not face those same threats, the feeling of fear is still the same, and if left unchecked could mean trouble.
A good example of fears’ negative influence is on divorced couples. When people marry, they intend to make it last a lifetime. But not all fairytales end in a happy ending. And when a relationship you hold dear ends, fear starts creeping in debilitating one’s decision, thus making it difficult to start over.
The book “Why Cross-Currents?” offers valuable insights on our deep-seated fears, it’s effects and the challenges of facing it. While the main plot is Jennifer’s journey in finding meaning and hope again after a messy, heartbreaking divorce, identifying and facing her fears is also an integral part of the story.
A Different Perspective on Fear
The book does not give steps on how to face your fears. What it offers or suggest is we try looking fear at a different perspective. To try seeing it as a friend rather than a foe and use it as a tool that can positively help you.
Facing Your Fears Can Uncover Answers.
As a kid, Jennifer was distraught by her parents’ divorce. So, her grandma gave her an advice to face her fears and that the answer she would uncover is the best medicine she’ll ever find. An advice she would later use when navigating her own divorce.
Fears sometimes tells us what needs to be done. That something might be lacking or needs attending to. A person who have experienced their heart broken will most likely not rush getting into another relationship. Because of fear, they might slow things down, explore their options and be more diligent in choosing a partner. Which is actually not a bad thing.
The Influence of Fear
Fear had influenced more decisions in Jenny’s life than anything else, yet she never considered it. She knew first-hand how it drained her joy to the point that she had no more energy to function effectively, shoving her to the point of illness. What could she possibly learn from a power that disintegrated everything she cherished? It is that we can choose on how fear can influence us. If one can learn how to channel their fears, it could be a useful guiding compass in life.
Fear and Fire
Fear is like fire. We can cook with it, we can keep warm with it; but if it gets out of hand, it can hurt or destroy us; so we must learn how to keep it at a usable level. Lots of fear can wipe us out, but a little fear causes us to think. Sometimes it gives us a needed burst of energy which can help us learn or get us out of trouble.